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Totlandia 4 Cover Reveal Contest
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Join Josie for the Totlandia Twitter Launch Party!
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
9:30-10:30pm ET / 6:30-7:30pm PT
We'll dish on Bettina, Jillian, Jade, Lorna, Ally and Brady!
My novel, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives,
has been optioned by producer Jerry Bruckheimer,
for a dramatic television series.
Click here for details...
Signal Press - eBook
Seduction and intrigue are rampant on the campaign trail when a political campaign adviser discovers that Washington's power broker elite have embroiled his presidential candidate in a plot involving an act of terrorism on US soil...
Democratic political campaign consultant Ben Brinker can’t remember the last time he was excited by a candidate’s vision. He feels he’s lost his way, both emotionally and professionally. Worst yet, his show-me-the-money policy seems to have finally caught up with him. Two of his recent clients have been disgraced in one way or another: a senator is caught in lurid sex scandal, and a congressman is indicted in a kickback scandal. In no time at all the political pundits are calling Ben a "candidate cooler." Now Ben is desperate for any campaign gig he can get.
As luck would have it, Andrew Harris Mansfield, the charismatic junior senator from North Carolina and former Marine pilot, asks Ben if he wants to run his soon-to-be-announced campaign for president.
Little does Ben know what's in store for Andrew, or their country--
Nor does he realize that the key to saving both have been placed in his hands.
Signal Press/ 978-0-9740214-0-9
ORDER NOW, from
BN.com (99 cents)
"This is a super sexy and fun read that you shouldn't miss! How do I love this book, let me count the ways: (1.) A kick ass woman that can literally kick ass as well as cook and clean. Donna gives a whole new meaning to "taking out the trash". (2.) The book is set around Los Angeles, mostly in a gated community suspiciously like Coto de Caza, full of housewives that could be 'real" and for the setting alone, a big giant WIN! (3.) Super sarcasm, snarky dialogue and making fun of all that is wrong in the OC, politics, as well as current world affairs." -- Mary Jacobs, Book Hounds Reviews
"The chemistry between [Donna and Jack] is enough to set water on fire, and make Donna question everything she's thought about her life since Carl's death.Add in a healthy dose of humor and ridiculousness, some mayhem, and some really cute kids, and you've got a book that won't be putdown - so go pick it up now!" --Cat's Thoughts
This book totally reminded me of the movie Mr & Mrs. Smith. Not that it is a copy of the movie, but that it has all of the thrills and enjoyment of the movie. It's a fast-paced read, the gadgets are awesome, and I could just picture Donna fighting off Russian gangsters and skinheads all the while having a pie at home cooling on the windowsill. As a housewife myself, this book was a fantastic escape that had me dreaming "if only" the whole way through. The book doesn't take itself too seriously, which makes for the perfect combination of mystery and humour..." --Curled Up with a Good Book and a Cup of Tea
READ AN EXCERPT HERE...
Every desperate housewife would love an alias. Donna Stone has one, and it's government sanctioned. Oh sure, you need to be ruthless to take on Russian mafia bosses, rogue dictators, and terrorists set on destroying the world. But it takes real killer instincts to survive suburbia. Try juggling the fifth grade phone tree during a shootout with skinhead arms dealers, or driving carpool while being chased by Chinese double agents.
Donna’s life wasn’t always this complicated. Five years earlier she was just another woman with two preschoolers, a baby bump, and an adoring husband: Carl, with whom she lived happily ever after in a McMansion in the Orange County, California community of Hilldale. But Donna’s life was changed forever the night she delivered her baby:
Carl’s car blew up on the way to the hospital.
Turns out Carl was a “hard man”—an assassin—for the black ops organization known as Acme Industries. The hit on Alex was carried out by the Quorum, a terrorist cell he was tracking. The Quorum’s motto: “Show me the money.” Governments and corporations do as they’re told—or suffer bloody consequences.
Carl left something behind that the Quorum wants badly. To protect herself and avenge Carl’s death, Donna joined Acme. Whereas her hostessing skills rival Martha Stewart’s, her marksmanship is second to none.
A good thing, too, because the Quorum has planted a sleeper cell in Hilldale. For Donna, that’s too close for comfort. Will she be able to save her family before the Quorum blows up Los Angeles?
Acme’s way of flushing out the Quorum is by “bringing Carl back from the dead.” But terrorism makes strange bedfellows--and brings new meaning to that old adage “Honey, I’m home…”
$3.99! In Online Bookstores Now!
Signal Press / 978-0-9740214-4-7
Buy it now, from
Donna and Jack are in the kind of hot mess that can cause an international incident:
A nuclear arms summit, hosted by a politically-connected American billionaire industrialist, provides the perfect opportunity for a rogue operative to assassinate of the newly-elected Russian president on US soil. Acme operative Donna Stone's mission:
Seek and exterminate the shooter, before all hell--and World War III--break loose.
Also on Donna's to-do list: file for divorce.
Throw in a couple of killer play dates and a few naughty neighbors, you've got a whole lot of fun.
Signal Press / 978-0-9740214-7-8
$3.99! In Online Bookstores Now!
Buy it in
’Tis the season for murder, mayhem and mistletoe! There will be no peace on Earth if Donna and Jack don’t find a heat-seeking missile making its way to Los Angeles.
Forget Santa! Terror is coming to town.
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Signal Press - 978-0-9740214-5-4
London. Paris. Guantanamo Bay.
Donna Stone is looking for love, in all the wrong places!
In this fourth full-length novel of The Housewife Assassin series, Donna Stone finds out that breaking up is hard to do. Then again, so is dating a terrorist, let alone eleven of them.
Does the make Donna a serial dater, or a serial killer?
Worse yet, an old flame gets in the way of Donna's chance for true love.
But she doesn't cry. She gets even.
(A small portion of this book appeared as a novella in
"Guns and Roses: A Murder She Writes Anthology".)
Signal Press / 978-0-9740214-6-1
Only $3.99! Buy it in
A nude sunbathing serial killer,
a Lord of the Flies 'tween takeover,
poison-dart throwing pygmies......
Talk about a fantasy (nightmare?) island!
An NSA scientist has disappeared with a deadly plague virus. Donna and Jack must find him before it is unleashed on Fantasy island, home of three very different resorts:
Like Kamp KidStuff, where families frolic among dolphins, cartoon characters, and warring gangs of tweens who believe in the law of the jungle--including human sacrifices;
And Eden Key, a nude singles sanctuary where tiki-hut treehouses provide the perfect setting for rum-fueled romances and casual hook-ups—not to mention the occasional swinger slashing…
Finally, there's the Hunt Club, which allows its members to track a very unique,soon-to-be-extinct prey.
And you call this a vacation?
The Housewife Assassin's
Recipes for Disaster
Signal Press / 978-0-9895588-3-9
Only $3.99! Live NOW, in
Donna’s executive mission is crystal clear: stop the assassinations both US political parties’ presidential candidates.
When she discovers she has a long-term vendetta with one of the targets, can she put her animosity aside long enough to save the candidate’s life—and her relationship with Jack?
If you want a heads-up the day it lands in the eBookstores, get on my mailing list!
Coliloquy Books / 978-0-9740214-0-9 / eBook
Buy it now...
Friendship. Lies. Seduction. Betrayal.
Welcome to Totlandia.
The salacious secrets of Desperate Housewives meet the aspirational lifestyles of Sex and the City in San Francisco’s most elite mommies group
In this sometimes bittersweet (and always humorous) novel, the friendships among four women who meet in a moms-and-tots playgroup are tested as they address their presumptions, family traumas, love, passion, and the hard realities of parenting their children.
In Bookstores Now!
Coliloquy Books / 978-1-9378041-5-2 / eBook
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In this second book of the Totlandia series, five mommies are just one misstep away from entry into the elite Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club. Everyone has a scandalous secret to hide, but who will be the next to fall?
As the club's founder, Bettina, ratchets up the stress level with a series of holiday-themed challenges, the cracks begin to show. Jade's past catches up to her in the most unlikely of settings. Jillian's struggles to make ends meet are complicated by Bettina's demands. Ally's work and home lives collide, threatening to expose all of her secrets. And Lorna's already fraying family ties are torn to shreds by a series of devastating events.
With just four spots remaining, will the five remaining ladies turn cutthroat? Or will their newfound friendships be strong enough to help them band together?
In Bookstores Now!
Coliloquy Books / 978-1-937804-16-9/ eBook
Buy it on
Spring comes in like a lamb as the exclusive Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club welcomes its newest members. But that tranquility belies a storm brewing, as new tensions and old rivalries come to a head.
The surviving moms are ready to reap the rewards of membership, but none of them counted on club founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, needing a pick-me-up from a bitter betrayal. While lesser women might cry into their pillows, Bettina finds comfort in exerting control over her domain.
With Bettina on a rampage, the new Onesies are trying to stay out of sight long enough to deal with their own issues: Lorna wants to tell her family about Dante’s autism, but keeping it on her own terms could be difficult when her hippie mom and socialite mother-in-law meet for the first time. Jillian fights to regain her financial footing and confront her personal insecurities, finding comfort in an unexpected place. And Ally can’t bear the thought of hurting Jade, so she continues to bury her feelings for Brady. But when another desperate housewife stirs the mix, Jade could become a pawn in an even more devious game.
It’s no ordinary spring in Totlandia, as emotions build to a fury and end with a roar.
In Bookstores Now!
Chosen as one of the "Top 5 Must-Read Spring 2011 Paperbacks" by SheKnows.com
(Simon & Schuster/Gallery Books)
ISBN#: 9781439197127 - Trade Paperback
ISBN# 9781439197134 - BN Nook Edition
ASIN: B0043RSK8U - Amazon Kindle Edition
"Brown (Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives) takes baby mania to its illogical, hysterical extreme in this bubbly romp. Thirty-seven-year-old Katie's biological clock is ticking like a time bomb, and she turns her baby obsession into a wildly successful consultant gig planning nurseries for pregnant women too rich, clueless, bedridden, or busy to do the task themselves.
Even grieving widower Seth, who works with Katie's child-shy husband, Alex, on a demanding new business venture, needs Katie's services to help him manage his perplexing new role as a single dad. But what begins as a light foray into Bugaboo country turns into something bigger than a satire of status-obsessed Bay Area yummy mummies as Brown takes a dark look at the fears of parenthood and family, with Katie's heartbreaking longing for a child unveiling a disturbing reality about her marriage and family. Still, the message from the somber realities is one full of hope: love makes a family, commitment keeps it together."
In writing about my heroine, Katie, and her pregnant clients, I had the opportunity to explore the many serious issues that come up in the maternity journey: sibling rivalry, adoption, surrogacy, single parenting, infertility, infidelity--
Even how a new parent grieves the death of a spouse.
All of these topics merit a story the reflects the fears, the tears and the joys of this life passage. I hope you enjoy my latest labor of love! -- Josie Brown
PRE-ORDER NOW, from
Simon & Schuster/Downtown Press
Trade Paperback and Digital eBook Editions
In Bookstores Now / A Target "Emerging Authors" Pick
In my novel, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, I explore the perceptions and deceptions affecting two marriages.
The Harpers, Lyssa and Ted, are socially entrenched in the tony Silicon Valley town of Paradise Heights, California, unlike DeeDee and Harry Wilder, who are admired by all, but politely aloof to their neighbors.
Then word gets out that DeeDee has walked out on Harry and their two children. Gossip runs rampant through the Heights. Was DeeDee having an affair? Is it true that Harry is fighting her for everything—even the dog?
Lyssa's friends gossip about the neighbors while ignoring their own problems: infertility, infidelity, and eating disorders. The truth is, if the community's "perfect couple," Harry and DeeDee, can call it quits, what does that mean for everyone else?
At least one of the rumors is true: to hold on to his children and his home, Harry, once a workaholic, realigns his life and becomes a stay-at-home dad. Touched by his efforts at trial-by-error single parenting, Lyssa befriends him, never realizing the effect their relationship will have on her close-knit circle of friends—or its explosive impact on her own marriage.
Order your copy today:
Order it here, from
Or order it in trade paperback, from
"Josie Brown gives us another page-turning guilty pleasure." – Marin Magazine
All over Hollywood, men are dialing O—for orgasms. Her steamy naughty talk fills them with lust and longing, and helps them perform like the studs they claim to be.
In truth, the industry's favorite "erotic phone operatrix" is Nina Harte, a struggling actress who has put her career on hold so that her husband, Nathan, can pursue his own dreams of stardom.
When Nathan's career takes off, so does he, leaving Nina and their four-year-old son, Jake, for his diva costar, Katerina McPherson. Then "Kat 'n' Nat" are crowned the media's newest celebrity sweethearts, and Kat labels Nina an unfit mother in order to win custody of Jake, just so that she can have that highly-coveted celebrity accessory—an adorable child—sans any unsightly stretch marks.
The one person who does care about Nina is Nathan's agent, Sam Godwin. In fact, he's in love with her. And because he has both a heart and a conscience, Sam feels guilty for having put Nat in Kat's path in the first place . . .
So, how will he feel when he learns that Nina and O are one and the same?
Read an excerpt here...
ISBN# 13: 9780989558808
For Hannah Fairchild, jaded Hollywood trust fund baby and aspiring astronomer, life as she knows it (financially secure, albeit emotionally frail) goes out of orbit when her father -- the larger-than-life legendary actor and playboy, Leo Fairchild -- drops dead while making love to a nineteen year-old C-list television starlet. Not only has Leo's conniving fourth wife frozen Hannah's trust fund -- putting a pinch on her ability to gaze at the only stars she feels are worth watching -- but the grieving widow has also been having an affair with Hannah's indie producer boyfriend.
Faced with credit card bills that rivals the national debt, Hannah is forced to put her planet search project on hold while she takes the job of personal assistant to British actor and People's "Sexiest Man Alive," Louis Trollope. Because Louis is just as egotistical, self-centered, insecure, demanding, flirtatious -- and yes, irresistible -- as her father had been, Hannah is determined to keep him and his super-model girlfriend, bad boy entourage, and over-sexed agent at arm's length. Besides, she's falling in love with his best friend, the screenwriter Mick Bradshaw.
"…The tone is confessional, the writing laced with venomous humor..."
–The Wall Street Journal
"Brown captures the humor of working for a megalomaniac...[A] well-paced, entertaining story." –Publishers Weekly
"A fine piece of literary work." –New York Post, Page Six
"Josie Brown does an outstanding job capturing the glitz and glamour of Hollywood living yet illuminating the stark loneliness present beneath the façade. Filled with good-natured humor and witty repartee..."
–Romance Reader's Connection
"With tongue-in-cheek dialogue, TRUE HOLLYWOOD LIES provides a fascinating look at the jet set lifestyle of the rich and for-the-moment famous.... You will laugh, cry, and wonder if it's worth it to be rich and famous." –Romance Reviews Today
(Signal Press, 2011)
"Marriage Confidential shares its insights with heart and humor. Here you'll find the perfect answers to the most important relationship questions. A perfect guide for loving couples."-- John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
Husbands, here’s what she’s thinking...
"Does she know when you’re lying? You better believe she does. Each man pulsates microscopic hints that signal his thoughts and actions to the woman whose goal it is to stay first and foremost in his mind.God help him if he’s a lousy liar to begin with."
Don’t end the evening by asking her, ‘Did you come?’ It’s akin to taking a trip with a kid who asks every five minutes, ‘Are we there yet?’ Since you don’t know unless we tell you otherwise, your wife will say, ‘Yes honey, thanks for rockin’ my world!’— just to get you off her back (front, or whatever.) Believe me, you’ll know when she enjoys sex with you; because she won’t
be able to shut up about it."
Wives, here’s what he’s thinking…
…about whether he turns you on:
"Most men do care about how they look in a pair of jeans. Sure, a guy might look like a sack of spuds in his Levis, but that doesn't mean he's okay with that. And, if he is okay with that, I'll guarantee you that he has convinced himself that there are a lot of women out there who are really turned on by potatoes."
…about the dangers of having affairs:
"Affairs are like skiing with a blindfold, wildly exhilarating at first, but almost certain to end badly."
In This Book, You’ll Find 102 Honest Answers to the Questions
Every Husband Wants to Ask, and Every Wife Needs to Know
THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO FINDING MR. RIGHT
"Josie and Martin Brown give refreshingly honest views of what you must do if you are to have a happy and lasting relationship." – John Gray, author of the bestselling classic Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
A Modern Girl's Dream Dictionary
(St. Martin's Press/Griffin)
______________________________________________________PRAISE FOR JOSIE'S NOVELS
—Jackie Collins, bestselling author of Hollywood Wives and Poor Little Bitch Girl
—Eileen Goudge, New York Times bestselling author of Once in a Blue Moon
"I loved this juicy-as-it-it-is-heartfelt novel about love, marriage, friendship and sharp, manicured claws. Could not put it down!"
—Melissa Senate, author of The Secret of Joy
"Poignant and funny! Josie Brown's protagonist is strong, resilient, and unflinchingly honest: she has all the skills she needs to navigate the 'mean streets' of the gated community of Paradise Heights. A great read!"
—Wendy Wax, author Magnolia Wednesdays
“Brown proves that a story with suburban bodies can be just as suspenseful as one with dead bodies! Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives is a probing, entertaining fishbowl of married life in a well-heeled, wayward neighborhood. Loved it!”
—Stephanie Bond, author of Body Movers series
"I loved it! Josie Brown captures the highs and lows of love, lust and marriage with heartwrenching pathos. I'm recommending it to all my friends as the perfect beach read!"—Lisa Rinna, actress, and author of the novel, Starlit, and the personal growth book, Rinnavation