Enter to Win the Bookish Road Trip Excerpt Contest

Dear Readers,

I've joined forces with Bookish Road Trip for this wonderful excerpt contest.

By correctly answering the question below, you'll win a digital copy of the Totlandia 2-Book Set as well as a Bookish Road Trip luggage tag.

About the Totlandia 2-Book Set:

The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club is the most exclusive children’s playgroup in all of San Francisco. For the city’s ultra-competitive elite, the club’s ten annual spots are the ultimate parenting prize. But not everyone is PHM&TC material.

The club’s founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, adheres to strict membership rules: Moms only. No single parents or working mothers allowed. Membership is an arduous commitment. And there’s no room in the club for scandal, bad behavior, or imperfection…from tots or their moms. In a world of power and prestige, no one has more than Bettina.

And as every mom in Pacific Heights knows, you simply cannot cross her. But this year’s admissions process is more rigorous than ever, pitting prospective members against each other to prove their mettle.

But four of the six candidates vying for the remaining four slots have a secret that would knock them out of the running. Jade is a former stripper and porn actress, who has been absent for most of her son’s life. Jillian’s husband cleaned out their joint accounts and left her for his pregnant assistant. Ally never even had a husband—just a sperm donor—and she’s hiding a high-ranking corporate job. And Lorna fears that her son may have special needs… just the excuse her sister-in-law, Bettina, needs to deny her entry to the club.

Can these hopeful moms keep up appearances long enough to outlast the competition? Or will their chances—and their private lives—go up in flames?

Friendship. Lies. Seduction. Betrayal. Welcome to Totlandia.

“This feels very much like Gossip Girl repackaged for young mothers. Will this novel change your life? Absolutely not. Will you learn something deep and profound about the human condition or about yourself? No. Will you pass a few hours in the problems of someone else, someone with much more glamorous problems than your own? Yes. If you dig chick-lit with lots of fashion, backstabbing, and a little sex. I almost hate to admit it, but I can’t wait for the next in the series.” —LuxuryReading.com

“Picture Desperate Housewives and Sex and the City. Totlandia would be the baby they’d create. The book is a blast, packed with humorous punches between these ladies whose very existence relies on their ability to keep up appearances. This author will have you howling as you devour this most recent work. Yeah, she’s that good. And so are her books.” —Stress-Free Baby

“I adored this quick read. There are some really sweet moments mixed in with the catty wonderfulness that Brown always seems to capture.” —Mary Jacobs, Bookhounds Reviews

“You’ll find yourself warming to these women soon after meeting them and rooting for them, whether or not that means they make it into the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club! —PlayDateCrashers.com

“They all have dirty little secrets. Twists you’ll never see coming.” —Fresh Baked Books Podcast

CONTEST QUESTION:

What does the little girl say when Lorna asks her to give her son's diaper back to her?

Only correct answers will be counted.

All answers must be received no later than Friday, 11:59 pm PT. The Winner will be announced on this page as well as in the Bookish Road Trip July 2022 newsletter.

EXCERPT

Labor Day

Monday, 3 September

10:37 a.m.

Since the very first moment she had laid eyes on him, Lorna Connaught had loved Dante with a hot fierceness that both excited and shamed her.

The excitement came from the knowledge that, from then until the day she died, he would always be hers. Her shame came from the realization that she’d never felt such an achingly deep love like that before.

Not even for her husband, Matthew.

And yet, if it hadn’t been for Matt, Dante wouldn’t be in her life now.

She watched him as he warmed his feet in the sand. Alta Plaza Park crowned one of the highest peaks in San Francisco’s Pacific Heights neighborhood, affording marvelous views of the surrounding city. To the north, musky green Angel Island lay in the hazy turquoise bay. To the east was the mod white vertical square dome of St. Mary’s Cathedral, backed by the city’s skyscrapers. And from the south, the three candy-striped prongs of Sutro Tower pierced the cobalt blue sky. As on most days, the wind was brisk, whipping through the branches of the park’s weeping willows and palms.

Lorna had come to realize that the park was just as much a haven for Dante as it was for her. Only here did he relax his usually rod-straight stance, so that his dark curls grazed his rounded shoulders.

Nothing made her happier than seeing him so content.

She breathed deeply, taking in the moment—

Taking in something.

What was that awful smell?

Oh, damn. Dante had crapped in his pants.

Lorna scooped up her one-year-old son, slung his diaper bag over her shoulder, and headed for the nearest picnic table. She reached in the bag for Sensitive-Wipes, a changing mat, and a diaper. To her disappointment, there was only one in the bag. How typical of Matt to forget the one task she’d given him this morning: re-pack the diaper bag.

Well, one would have to do for now. In a few minutes, she and Dante were supposed to meet Matt at his mother’s home for the family’s annual Labor Day brunch. Eleanor Morrow Connaught, Lorna’s mother-in-law, owned the largest mansion on the Jackson Street side of the park. While Lorna helped set the table, Matt could slip out to the store and pick up a few more since they were staying through dinner.

Dante was so antsy that it was hard for her to hold him and unfold the diaper at the same time. Frantically, she pulled off his pants, then removed the dirty nappy and cleaned his bottom with a wipe. She was about to grab the clean one when the wind whipped it out of her hand, where it hovered just out of reach, before floating over her head toward the playground.

“No! Oh, heck—” Running through the park in heels with a naked baby was not Lorna’s style, but it was better than showing up at Eleanor’s with her bare-bottomed grandson.

The diaper dipped and skipped in the cross-currents over the oblivious heads of the other mothers who sat on the benches all around the swing set. On holidays, the park was busier than usual, and this Labor Day was no exception. Lorna used her hands to shade her eyes from the sun’s glare as she scanned the sky for the wayward diaper. She caught a glimpse of it sailing higher on the hill before plunging into a thicket of cypress trees.

By the time she got there, it was being wrapped around an 18-inch Journey Girls doll by two five-year-olds playing house.

The doll was laid out on an open paper napkin. Other dolls were propped up in a circle around her, as if watching a life-or-death medical procedure.

Lorna smiled down at the future mothers. “Your doll is very cute. What’s her name?”

The little blond girl who had just patted one of the adhesive tabs in place over the naked doll’s belly looked up at her warily. “Mewedith,” she answered. Her lisp was the result of two missing front teeth.

“Yes, well, Meredith is quite pretty. But I think you’ve got my little boy’s diaper.”

“No, it’s Mewedith’s! See? It fits.” The girl held up her doll.

Lorna kept her smile in place, but she shook her head firmly. “But you didn’t bring it to the park. I did. I was putting it on my son when the wind took it out of my hand.” She pointed to Dante. “Otherwise, he wouldn’t be naked right now. So please give it back.”

“No! I found it. It’s mine now.” The little girl frowned and grasped her doll tightly to her chest. The other little girl, thrilled at her friend’s impudence toward an adult, moved behind her in solidarity.

“Excuse me?” Lorna couldn’t believe her ears. “It belongs to my little boy. Hand it over. Please.” Her tone made it clear that it was not a request.

The girl shot her a bird. “Skwoo you.”

What a little brat!

Cradling Dante in one arm, Lorna snatched the doll out of the gi