TOTLANDIA - BOOK 1

Fall - The Onesies

DIGITAL: 9780989558884

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TRADE PAPERBACK: 9781942052227

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The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club is the most exclusive children's playgroup in all of San Francisco. For the city's ultra-competitive elite, the club's ten annual spots are the ultimate parenting prize.


But not everyone is PHM&TC material. The club's founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, adheres to strict membership rules: Moms only. No single parents or working mothers allowed. Membership is an arduous commitment. And there's no room in the club for scandal, bad behavior, or imperfection from the tots or their moms. 


In a world of power and prestige, no one has more than Bettina. And as every mom in Pacific Heights knows, you simply cannot cross her. But this year's admissions process is more rigorous than ever, pitting prospective members against each other to prove their mettle.


But four of the six candidates vying for the remaining four slots have a secret that would knock them out of the running. Jade is a former stripper and porn actress, who has been absent for most of her son's life. Jillian's husband cleaned out their joint accounts and left her for his pregnant assistant. Ally never even had a husband–just a sperm donor–and she's hiding a high-ranking corporate job. And Lorna fears that her son may have special needs… just the excuse her sister-in-law, Bettina, needs to deny her entry to the club. 


Can these hopeful moms keep up appearances long enough to outlast the competition? Or will their chances–and their private lives–go up in flames?

 

TOTLANDIA - BOOK 2

WINTER - THE ONESIES

DIGITAL: 9780989558891

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TRADE PAPERBACK: 9781942052364
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Five mommies are just one misstep away from entry into the elite Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club. Everyone has a scandalous secret to hide, but who will be the next to fall? 


As the club's founder, Bettina, ratchets up the stress level with a series of holiday-themed challenges, the cracks begin to show. Jade's past catches up to her in the most unlikely of settings. Jillian's struggles to make ends meet are complicated by Bettina's demands. Ally's work and home lives collide, threatening to expose all of her secrets. And Lorna's already fraying family ties are torn to shreds by a series of devastating events. 


With just four spots remaining, will the five remaining ladies turn cutthroat? Or will their newfound friendships be strong enough to help them band together?

 

TOTLANDIA - BOOK 3

SPRING - THE ONESIES

DIGITAL: 9781942052005 

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TRADE PAPERBACK: 9781942052371
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Spring comes in like a lamb as the exclusive Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club welcomes its newest members. But that tranquility belies a storm brewing, as new tensions and old rivalries come to a head. 


The surviving moms are ready to reap the rewards of membership, but none of them counted on club founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, needing a pick-me-up from a bitter betrayal. While lesser women might cry into their pillows, Bettina finds comfort in exerting control over her domain.


With Bettina on a rampage, the new Onesies are trying to stay out of sight long enough to deal with their own issues: Lorna wants to tell her family about Dante's autism, but keeping it on her own terms could be difficult when her hippie mom and socialite mother-in-law meet for the first time. Jillian fights to regain her financial footing and confront her own insecurities, finding comfort in an unexpected place. And Ally can't bear the thought of hurting Jade, so she continues to bury her feelings for Brady. But when another desperate housewife stirs the mix, Jade could become a pawn in an even more devious game.  


It's no ordinary spring in Totlandia, as emotions build to a fury and end with a roar.

 

TOTLANDIA - BOOK 4

SUMMER - THE ONESIES

DIGITAL: 9781942052753 

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TRADE PAPERBACK: 9781942052388
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As summer sizzles in Totlandia, emotions boil over for the newest members of Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club, whose trust in each other is sorely tempted by Bettina and her club politics. 


When Jillian's vindictive joke backfires, she learns the true meaning of forgiveness. Jade's betrayal puts her in a dangerous downward spiral with no bottom in sight–until she finds friendship and redemption where she least expects it. Lorna faces the biggest trial in her marriage, and makes an important decision that may end it for good. While Ally may regret the choices made she to get accepted in the club, her exile puts new opportunities in her path, thanks to Brady and his ceaseless desire to win her over–with Barry's help, who is playing his own little game with Bettina. 


But it's Bettina who suffers the ultimate punishment–one that changes her life, and the livelihood of the club, forever.

 

TOTLANDIA - BOOK 5

FALL - THE TWOSIES

DIGITAL:  9781942052395 

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TRADE PAPERBACK: 9781942052401
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When Bettina Cross is faced with having to share the leadership of her beloved Pacific Heights Moms and Tots Club with her sister-in-law, Lorna Connaught, she plays dirty–only to discover that her actions have aligned her two true enemies: Kimberley Savitch, and Kelly Overton. Bettina's problems are compounded when Daniel Warwick, a Department of Justice prosecutor, wants to use her as bait to trap her soon-to-be ex, Art, into coming home and answering to long list of fraud charges. The fact that Art has scammed most of San Francisco's wealthiest families has Bettina fighting desperately to preserve her most priceless possession: her social standing. 


When Brady lines up venture capital funding for Life of Pie, Ally must tamp down his gung-ho power ranger tendencies, while at the same time shore up Jillian's insecurities that her pies won't live up to Brady's promises. And now that the once homeless Reggie is teaching the complete works of Shakespeare to UC Berkeley undergrads, Jade struggles with her fear that she's competing for his affections with his younger, more beautiful students. 


Finally, an unexpected tragedy puts Jillian in the middle of her ex's life again–with consequences that will affect her future and those of her twins–forever.  


The leaves are falling, and there's a bitter chill in the air–but Mother Nature has nothing to do with it. Blame it on human nature–in this case, Pacific Heights parents behaving badly.

 

TOTLANDIA - BOOK 6

WINTER - THE TWOSIES

DIGITAL: 9781942052685 

Amazon - Apple Books - BN - Kobo

TRADE PAPERBACK: 9781942052692
Autographed from Josie's Store
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Winter’s chill isn’t just in the air. It also runs through the veins of all the women in the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club…


Besides dealing with the politics of the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club, Lorna discovers a secret that will scandalize the members—and perhaps have one them leaving in disgrace. As for Jade, her new part-time job on the UC Berkeley campus allows Reggie to see her in a whole new light—one that will either make, or break, their relationship; Jillian is juggling too much—not just the twins, the growth of Life of Pie, and the details of her wedding, but the guardianship of the infant, Scotty.


Will her fiancé, Caleb man up to fatherhood—or will he be scared off by threats of a lawsuit from Rona, the mother her deceased ex-husband, Scott? And Brady’s frustration over Ally’s refusal to commit to marrying him leads him down a slippery slope–into her past. 


Finally, Bettina's idea for a new mobile app may get her out of hock—but will it keep her in the good graces of Daniel Warwick, the Federal agent chasing down Art?

 

TOTLANDIA - BOOK 7

SPRING - THE TWOSIES

DIGITAL: 9781942052708

Amazon - Apple Books - BN - Kobo

TRADE PAPERBACK: 9781942052715
Autographed from Josie's Store

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Winter’s chill isn’t just in the air. It also runs through the veins of all the women in the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club…


Besides dealing with the politics of the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club, Lorna discovers a secret that will scandalize the members—and perhaps have one them leaving in disgrace. As for Jade, her new part-time job on the UC Berkeley campus allows Reggie to see her in a whole new light—one that will either make, or break, their relationship; Jillian is juggling too much—not just the twins, the growth of Life of Pie, and the details of her wedding, but the guardianship of the infant, Scotty.


Will her fiancé, Caleb man up to fatherhood—or will he be scared off by threats of a lawsuit from Rona, the mother her deceased ex-husband, Scott? And Brady’s frustration over Ally’s refusal to commit to marrying him leads him down a slippery slope–into her past. 


Finally, Bettina's idea for a new mobile app may get her out of hock—but will it keep her in the good graces of Daniel Warwick, the Federal agent chasing down Art?

 

TOTLANDIA - BOOK 8

SUMMER - THE TWOSIES

DIGITAL: 9781942052739

Amazon - Apple Books - BN - Kobo

TRADE PAPERBACK: 9781942952722
Autographed from Josie's Store

Amazon  - BN - BookShop

Winter’s chill isn’t just in the air. It also runs through the veins of all the women in the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club…

 

Besides dealing with the politics of the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club, Lorna discovers a secret that will scandalize the members—and perhaps have one them leaving in disgrace. As for Jade, her new part-time job on the UC Berkeley campus allows Reggie to see her in a whole new light—one that will either make, or break, their relationship; Jillian is juggling too much—not just the twins, the growth of Life of Pie, and the details of her wedding, but the guardianship of the infant, Scotty.

 

Will her fiancé, Caleb man up to fatherhood—or will he be scared off by threats of a lawsuit from Rona, the mother her deceased ex-husband, Scott? And Brady’s frustration over Ally’s refusal to commit to marrying him leads him down a slippery slope–into her past. 

 

Finally, Bettina's idea for a new mobile app may get her out of hock—but will it keep her in the good graces of Daniel Warwick, the Federal agent chasing down Art?

 

Reviews for Totlandia

“I love a good mommy sendup as much as the next gal, and this peek into the ridiculousness of the San Francisco upper-crust is delightful. Whether or not you've ever had the pleasure (or pain) of joining a playgroup, Brown's tale is as charming as it is cringeworthy. I laughed, I winced, I kept scrolling.” 
—Romantic Times

“With affairs, pending divorces, secret jobs, and unsavory pasts, each wannabe member hides something that could blow her chances for good. Like the characters in reality shows such as “Dance Moms,” the women in Pacific Heights might be over-the-top, but in the end, the best interests of their kids are (almost) always at heart. Laugh-out-loud funny and sometimes touching, the Totlandia novellas serve as the perfect quick read for busy moms or anyone looking to escape with some gossipy fun.”
—Examiner.com

 

“Josie Brown writes Totlandia with her usual storytelling flair. The dialogue is smooth and flowing. The characters are easy to side with or become angry with, depending on each situation. The scenery is easy to visualize. And we mustn't forget all the sex (blushworthy, at that) and scandal that is a staple of a true Josie Brown novel. It shows that there are mothers who are human and sometimes screw up even with the best intentions at hand. It's like a soap opera for mommies. Guilty pleasure, anyone?”
—Melissa Amster, ChickLitCentral.com

 

“This book is wonderfully written and has more than just drama. There are touching moments, parts that made me laugh out loud, and as I read the story I felt like I was reading a television show!”
—Divine Secrets of a Domestic Goddess

 

“Totlandia by Josie Brown was just a real joy to read. Right away, Brown hooks readers and she doesn’t let go till the last page. I got so involved in each character’s story and was right alongside them cheering for them and feeling all the emotions alongside them.  I loved the variety of characters, the balance of funny and serious moments, and just the wacky story. I cannot wait to see what is next in the series!” 
—The Book CellarX

 

“Brown did it again!  She wrote a book that is both hysterical and original.   She gets at the heart of motherhood and all its glory and shame!  She loves to develop numerous characters and you sure to connect with one, if not all in some way.  She makes you think, with whimsy and fun.  I absolutely adore her writing and I cannot wait to drive into Book Two of this series!”
—Mommy Book Nerd

 

“Totlandia is highly addictive. The fabulous cover is a head-turner, but the storyline itself is what keeps me flipping the pages long into the night. The unique story of each woman speaks to a little part inside all of us. And the high-stakes war of entry into this exclusive club reminds us that the competitive nature of high school cliques is never far behind. I loved Totlandia.“
—ChickLitAndWine.com

 

“The rules for joining are absurd. The mothers are absurd. The concept is absurd. The book is hysterical. It’s short, biting, and full of characters that you want to know more about. There are four spots open for this year, but six mothers vying for the places.  So a Survivor-like contest is decided as a way to winnow out the two extra applicants.” 
– Books, Cooks, & Looks

 

“If you are a fan of the popular Real Housewives shows, it's a good bet you will eat this story up! All I can say is, I'm glad I don't know any of these people in real life! The women of The Pacific Heights Moms and Tots Club are conniving, secretive, vindictive and desperate, for many different reasons. The stuff of good drama. And there is plenty of it in the first book of the series. Dads need not apply to The Pacific Heights Moms and Tots Club, but one has. He's determined to get his child in and has devised a plan to fool the uptight ladies of the club. There's just one problem – his son's mother. These are the moms of Totlandia. Get to know them today!” —The Writer Revived

 

“This feels very much like Gossip Girl repackaged for young mothers. Will this novel change your life? Absolutely not. Will you learn something deep and profound about the human condition or about yourself? No. Will you pass a few hours in the problems of someone else, someone with much more glamorous problems than your own? Yes. If you dig chick-lit with lots of fashion, backstabbing, and a little sex. I almost hate to admit it, but I can’t wait for the next in the series.” 
—LuxuryReading.com

 


“Picture Desperate Housewives and Sex and the City.  Totlandia would be the baby they’d create.  The book is a blast, packed with humorous punches between these ladies whose very existence relies on their ability to keep up appearances. This author will have you howling as you devour this most recent work. Yeah, she’s that good.  And so are her books.” 

—Stress-Free Baby

 

“I adored this quick read and can't wait to get further into the lives of these women.  There are some really sweet moments mixed in with the catty wonderfulness that Brown always seems to capture.” 
—Mary Jacobs, Bookhounds Reviews 

 


“The way they go about hiding their secrets from the group, plus the way that the other members of the group protect one another will break your heart one moment and have you giggling to yourself the next. You’ll find yourself warming to these women soon after meeting them and rooting for them, whether or not that means they make it into the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club!”

—PlayDateCrashers.com

 

“A really good cast of characters. They all have dirty little secrets. Twists you’ll never see coming.”
—Fresh Baked Books Podcast 

 

“I must say, right from the first page Totlandia made me laugh at some of the predicaments that mothers are placed in when they are dealing with a one-year-old. As a mother of three, I could empathize with Lorna as she chased a diaper through the park, and was forced to haggle with a spoiled four-year-old. And on the other hand, I shed a few tears as Jillian’s world falls apart around her, and she can barely hold the pieces together for her daughters. The author did an amazing job at giving each character a distinct voice and their own trials throughout the book. I don’t think I would ever want to join a playgroup so badly that I would force myself to give in to the demands that membership in the PHM&T club requires, but the author makes each character's reasoning completely understandable and believable. I found myself cheering them on and hoping they make the cut, even though part of my mind was thinking how ridiculous it all was. But really, friendship and support for mothers is a key part of keeping sane when you have little ones to take care of. I know from experience. I look forward to being able to continue with the drama that is the PHM&T club.” 
—Simply Stacie

 
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